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Rated R

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Sunday, April 26, 2015

LITIGATION NATION: Lowe’s pays $1.6M settlement over 2×4 labeling

Lowe’s has new rules regarding how it can label building products in California. A Superior Court judge laid out terms by which the retailer must advertise its 2x4s and other dimensional materials in a $1.6 million settlement order and final judgement filed on August 27. The order, brought on as part of a civil consumer protection action, lists three main rules for the retailer to follow going forward:
  • “Common descriptions” must be followed by actual dimensions and labeled as such. For instance, a 2×4 must be followed with a disclaimer that the wood is actually 1.5-inches by 3.5-inches and include a phrase equal or similar to “actual dimensions.”
  • “Popular or common product description,” like the word 2×4, must be “clearly described as ‘popular name,’ ‘popular description,’ or ‘commonly called.'”
  • Dimension descriptions are required to use the “inch-pound unit,” meaning they must include abbreviations such as “in., ft., or yd.,” and can’t use symbols like ‘ or ” to denote measurements.
Lowes-Home-Improvement-StoreThe order, handed down by Judge Paul M. Haakenson, came as a response to a case involving claims by the Marin County, Calif., district attorney’s office that the retailer “unlawfully advertised structural dimensional building products for sale.” According to the judgement, the retailer was ordered to pay $1.47 million in civil penalties and costs of the investigation, and an additional $150,000 to fund further consumer protection-related activities.
Lowe’s spokesperson Amanda Manna said the company has begun to conform to the product description requirements in nearly 100 of its stores across California.
“Consumers should expect when making product purchases that retailers are providing accurate information,” said Marin County District Attorney Edward S. Berberian. “Especially when misinformation could adversely affect building projects that more often than not rely on precise measurements.”

In a statement, Cobb added: “Periodically, representatives of local Weights and Measures departments visit retailers, and they expressed concerns about common product measurements, such as a 2×4 piece of lumber.
“Historically, Lowe’s provided information about product dimensions received from vendors. Moving forward, customers will now be able to locate product by actual and common dimensions as provided by vendors for certain building products. For example, for a piece of lumber commonly known as a 2X4, customers will see both the common name (2×4) and the actual product dimensions (1.5 x 3.5 inches).
“Both Lowe’s and the California DAs agreed that a settlement is in the best interest of all parties. It allows us to continue moving forward with our program to provide both actual and common product dimensions and meet our shared goals.”
The settlement was ordered by Marin Superior Court Judge Paul Haakenson.

For all that is fuckin holy give it up to the liberals in kalifornia to have sue for the obvious. Everyone and their brother knows that a 2x4 isn't really 2"x4", oh I'm sorry 2in x 4in. For cryin out fuckin loud if your dumb enough not to know that you shouldn't be allowed in the fuckin store or own a house for that fuckin fact. And fuck you marin inferior court judge paul haakenson fuck you

Saturday, April 25, 2015

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

11 Things Guys Secretly Do With Their Penises

A flaccid penis is basically like having a slinky in your pants.
2. Stretch it.
We have pulled it until it hurt just to see how far it can go. It's not like we decide it's time to do penis stretches whenever we're alone, but we've attempted this once.
3. Flick it.
It's pretty funny to flick an erection. Alternatively, bend it back to our stomachs and let it spring forward.
4. Try and fit it in things.
If you have a penis you're going to see what it does (or more importantly, doesn't) fit into. Paper towel rolls, wide-mouth Snapple bottles, etc. The less it can fit into, the better you feel.

5. Make a hotdog with our balls.
You can wrap your balls onto either side of your penis and it basically forms a genital hotdog. This is funny.

6. Measure it.
It is impossible to have a penis without taking a tape measurer to it. We need to know the number.

7. Just hold it, ever so gently.
All the time. Just walking around the house doing chores and holding our penis. Holding our penis while driving (not illegal). Pretty much anything we can do with one hand, we'll use the other hand to hold our penis.

8. Tuck it behind our legs.
Hahaha, hey! Now we're a lady!

9. Try and put it in our butt.

10. Look into it.
Do I have to go into more detail here?

11. Move it without using our hands.
With a lot of focus and a raging erection, we can make it dance around. It's surprisingly exhausting though.

Just for the women out there that may wonder.