Redneck Humor

Two red-necks, Ed and Red, walk into their favorite local watering hole, sit down at the bar, order up a couple of beers, and commence to shooting the breeze on various and sundry things. At a nearby table a woman starts choking on a bite of her sandwich. After a minute or so, it becomes obvious she's in real trouble.

Ed gets off his barstool, walks over and asks, "Ma'am, kin ye swaller?" She shakes her head no.

He asks,"Ma'am, kin ye breathe?" Again she shakes her head her head no.

Ed takes action. He yanks her up out of her chair, flips up the back of her skirt, pulls down her drawers, and licks her right butt-cheek. The woman is so shocked by this that she has a violent spasm which dislodges the food and it flies out of her mouth. She can breathe again.

Ed walks back over to the bar, gets back on his barstool, and takes a swig of his beer. Red looks at Ed and says,"Y'know, I always heard of that hind-lick manuever, but that's the first time I ever seen it done".